"MJB Da MVP" Mary J. Blige

You know what, no, I'm not going to wait until my thoughts gel into clean organized thoughts. Won't wait for me to calm down, take a deep breath. I hate work. I fucking hate it. I wanted to run around the office ramming people into water coolers. Tackling them into the sharp edges of their hardwood cubicles. And smashing my forearm into necks, pushing them against lavender, sound-dampening walls. The truncated breaths associated with panic and assaults.

And I would grind my teeth at them. Stare at them directly and growl, "Don't question the quality of my product! I have flawless output!"

And a copy of my manifesto--again, flawlessly produced by one of our high-end all-in-one color laser printer/fax/scanner/copiers--will be thrown at each desk. Memorable lines include: "Down with the culture of mediocrity!...Lynch lazies!...Pass the buck and die!"

I'm cornered by people whose demands far exceed their capacity to produce. This leads to endless bitching and rampant finger-pointing.

I need to do push ups.